Why not me?
Why not me?
Ciaran is very good at writing openly and honestly. He possesses this ability to express himself and be vulnerable without fear or embarrassment something that doesn’t come naturally to me. However, as he has helped me take the leap of faith to cycle around the world, surely I can share some honest thoughts and opinions with you lovely people on the internet.
So, thank you for taking the time to read.
At the point of writing this, we have been on the road for three weeks, which, in the grand scheme of things (out of 16 months), is a drop in the ocean. However, within this short time of leaving friends and family at the start line, setting up camp in a Belgian forest, accepting help from complete strangers and crossing the Alps — has done more for my personal development and outlook on life than any other stage of my life.
Spending 10 hours on a bike every day, in your own head, will do this to a person.
I’ve not really been cycling with any distractions either, only turning to Kate Bush in desperate times, usually when ascending a 400m hill or pushing through the last 15km of the day.
Having the time to actually sit and process thoughts and feelings has been quite healing. This has also been helped by the gorgeous sights of Europe in the summer.
But it has got me thinking.
When this plan was initially put to me, my instant reaction was, “No, I couldn’t do that.”
But why?
Growing up, I had all of the confidence in the world (and was probably incredibly annoying) and shamelessly gave everything a go.
I’d join all of the sports clubs and want to be the lead in all of the school plays. Sport, singing, dancing, art - probably to the dismay of my parents’ schedules, I’d be there. I just wanted to give everything a go. But at what point does this fearlessness, and ability to say yes to everything, slowly get knocked out of you?
Is it judgement? Other priorities and responsibilities? The routine and grind of everyday life? Or simply just a case of being distracted? I suppose Ciaran was a great catalyst for me to snap out of this way of thinking. Since the age of 14, he has had one goal: become a professional rugby player. To him, there was no other option. And through all of his efforts, he achieved this.
It seems he has always had the mindset of, “I can do that. Other people have done it, so why not me?”
This notion was never beaten out of him. There’s no surprise that once rugby was over, he pursued another hobby in videography and made it into a successful career.
He never had any fear about what he was posting, mainly sharing his new hobbies; spearfishing, rock climbing, hunting, a beginner at them all, but never scared to show people the honest version of trying something new. Not being great, but enjoying the learning process. And I think that is something I’ve really taken from him.
Ciaran has had the greatest influence on me and has allowed me to reconnect with that fearless little girl and say, “Why not me? I can give it a go.”
It is important to note that although Ciaran showed me how to shift my perspective, it was me who cycled 2000km kilometres to get to this point. It was me who left a comfortable life in Manchester and cycled a 40kg bike up the Swiss Alps. I did that.
And there’s no shame in saying that I’m very bloody proud of myself.
The main takeaway from all of this is to tell you to give that thing you’ve always wanted to do a go. It doesn’t have to be as extreme as cycling the world (typical Ciaran does nothing by halves), but set yourself a challenge.
Other people can do it. Why not you?
You’ll learn a lot about yourself along the way. I do still have my doubts. There is a LONG way to go. But as the lovely Mandi said in our first week:
“Don’t think about how far you have left. Appreciate how far you have come and enjoy the journey.” And I think that’s something I’ll be reminding myself of for the next 13 months.
So, maybe you don’t need an abnormally self-assured ginger man to convince you.
Maybe you just need to ask yourself:
Why not me?
